It Takes a Village Parenting: Why Hiring Help Doesn't Make You a Bad Parent

I recently saw a mom post online saying she needed extra help.

She was overwhelmed.

She was honest.

She was looking to hire a nanny.

And the comment section?

"Why don't you just spend more time with your kids?"

"Maybe focus on them instead of work."

"Must be nice to pawn your kids off."

Let's talk about that.

It Takes a Village Parenting Isn't a Trend-- It's Reality

We love to romanticize motherhood as if one person is supposed to do it all.

• Work full time.

• Cook organic meals.

• Keep a spotless house.

• Be emotionally present.

• Volunteer at school.

• Exercise.

• Maintain friendships.

• Be a perfect spouse.

And do it all without help.

That is not strength.

That is burnout waiting to happen.

It takes a village parenting has been true for generations. Extended family used to live nearby. Neighbors helped. Communities stepped in.

Now we expect mothers to operate as entire ecosystems alone.

Needing Help Does Not Equal Bad Parenting

Here's the truth:

A parent recognizing their limits is responsible, not lazy.

Hiring a nanny does not mean someone doesn't love their child.

It often means they love them enough to ensure they are supported, simulated, and cared for when mom or dad cannot physically be everything at once.

Outsourcing support is not outsourcing love.

Parents are allowed to:

• Work and build careers.

• Protect their mental health.

• Rest.

• Recover.

• Ask for help.

• Create sustainable systems.

That is not failure.

That is maturity.

Why The Shame Is So Loud

There is a strange cultural narrative that says:

"If you can afford help, you should just do it yourself."

Be we do not apply that logic anywhere else.

• We hire personal trainers.

• We hire house cleaners.

• We hire tutors.

• We hire assistants.

• We hire therapists.

Yet when it comes to childcare, suddenly help equals neglect?

No.

It takes a village parenting because children benefit from multiple safe, loving adults in their world.

The Reality of Modern Life

• Many families do not have grandparents nearby.

• Many parents both work.

• Many households are navigating stress, inflation, medical needs, or simply exhaustion.

Sometimes a nanny is there so mom can work.

Sometimes she's there so a mom can shower and breathe.

Sometimes she's there so a parent can show up better in the evenings.

Support creates capacity.

Capacity creates patience.

Patience creates better parenting.

The Real Question

Instead of asking:

"Why aren't you doing it all yourself?"

Maybe we should ask:

"Are you building a sustainable life for your family?"

There is no award for exhaustion.

There is no medal for doing everything alone.

It takes a village parenting because humans were never designed to raise children in isolation.

If a parent says they need help, believe them.

Needing a nanny does not mean someone is detached.

If often means they are self-aware enough to prevent burnout.

And if we want healthier families, healthier marriages, and healthier children, we need to stop shaming support systems.

It takes a village.

And sometimes that village includes a nanny.